Swami Dyanand Saraswati the great phiolosopher, scholar of Vedas & founder of Arya Samaj .In his book "Satyarth Parkash" has written on Marrige based on Vedas
"It is better that men and women should remain single till death rather than marry unsuitables; i.e., persons of mutually unsuitable qualities, characteristics and temperaments should never marry each other." MANU 9: 89
The Swaymvara marriage, i.e., marriage by choice - the most ancient form of marriage in India - is the vest form of marriage. Before a man and a maid think of marrying, they should see that they suit each other in point of knowledge and disposition, character, beauty, age, strength, family,* stature, and built of body and the like. Until they suit each other in all these things, no happiness can result from marriage. Nor can marriage in early life ever lead to any beneficial result.
"In whatsoever family the husband is contented with his wife, and the wife with her husband, it is there and there only that happiness, wealth and honor dwell permanently." MANU 3: 60. And wheresoever the husband and the wife disagree and squable, there is nothing but misery, poverty, and disgrace
More about selecting a partner
Any two persons who have, in their childhood, lived near each other, played and quarreled together, loved one another, noticed each other's faults, imperfections, ebullitions of temper and misbehaviors, and perhaps sometimes, even each other undressed, if married to each other, can never love each other to the extent desired.
The marriage of near relatives does not improve the race from want of interchange of fluids and essences (such as blood) of the body, it rather deteriorates it,. This is analogous to the addition of water to water, no new quality being produced.
As the addition of sugar and such medicines as ginger, improves the taste and quality of milk, so does the marriage of people, who are not related to each other (either on father's or on mother's side), improve the race.
As in the case of an invalid, change of climate and diet very often effects a cure, so does marriage with foreigners or distant people improve the health of the parties and prove beneficial in every other respect.
When the parties are nearly related to each other and live amongst their people, the sorrows and joys of one family will affect the other and there will be many occasions for family disputes to arise; while marriages among distant people and consequent separation from relatives lengthen the thread of mutual love. This is not the case when they live near their people.
When marriages are contracted with people of foreign or distant countries, things and news from those countries can be easily obtained (and consequently relations between different countries become closely established). This not possible when people marry near relatives or persons living near their homes, or, in their own country.
In Sanskrit a daughter is called duhitri (from Du - distant, Hit - good), because the marriage of a girl to a man who comes from a distant country or distant part of the same country is productive of good.
If the bride's people do not live very far from her husband's home, there is a possibility of her parents becoming poor, as whenever she visits her parents, they will have to give her something or other by the way of a present.
If their people live near at hand, on any slight friction taking place between the husband and the wife, she, feeling assured that her people will support her, will at once leave her husband and go to her parents. That may become the cause of mutual reviling and wrangling, for, women, as a rule, are so easily offended and pleased.
to be continued----------
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